Marina. 18. Tea is all I care to drink. Keep to myself some times. Long naps are a must. I'll let the rest be a secret.
Posts tagged: Personal
I have this constant dumb need for affection and I’m so picky with who’s allowed to kiss or touch me cos the wrong person immediately skeeves me out & makes my skin crawl. I would never be able to just do random hook ups whenever I’m in the mood and not feel let down by the experience and myself. When I was looking at the cute couple tagged posts, there were things like ‘I want to be that cute couple everyone loves” & “This is the year I will find someone to be a cute couple with”… like you can’t look for it. It just happens when you find that person you can connect with. How can you stand holding hands with someone you don’t actually have feelings for?
Why don’t I have a rabbit? I just want a little thing to love. My mom says they don’t really live for very long so I have all the names picked out.
- Harvey
- Tyrone
- Brown Sugar
I just want some bunny to love…
My head is literally going through a million different emotions & thoughts right now, I think I might explode. I just want to stop thinking completely. About everything and everyone. Just know that I love each and every one of you.
I hate that guys are texting me since I’m home. Just knowing that they have no actual interest in me but just wants to hook up makes me sick. After having someone who actually appreciated me in every way, I don’t want anything else. Especially these douches. The idea of any other guy touching me skeeves me out and makes my stomach have that awful pit feeling. Whenever my body was intertwined with his, I was comfortable and safe and actually a little more confidant, to be honest. It was seriously so nice having someone who just liked being around me, no matter what mood I was in. He dealt with me no matter what and would give me a kiss & a hug. Despite all my insecurities and me pushing him away, he was still there and was willing to work through it. He actually cared.
It wasn’t supposed to be this hard for me to get over him. I didn’t expect to like him so much or even date him in the first place. I wasn’t supposed to hope he’d text me when I went home or miss being cuddled up and talking to him this much. I wasn’t supposed to get so used to him.
I don’t know what the worst part of feeling like this is. It’s probably that he’ll meet plenty of cuter, hot, better girls and get over me while every guy I talk to will be silently compared to him and then rejected. The idea of other girls kissing him and him holding other girls makes me sick and want to cry. He doesn’t even know how much I actually think about him and all the cute stuff we did. He doesn’t know how much it meant to me when we first started liking each other and I studied in his room just because he wanted to be around me… it made me smile literally the entire day. And when I was packing up my stuff and I felt bad cause he was just sitting there watching me to be around me, it made me just as happy as the first time.
Now there’s a kid texting me like three times before I even text back once and pat doesn’t even text me goodmorning anymore. But like, why should he? Why should he be miserable? It wouldn’t be fair. He really deserves to be happy. So I’m just going to stop bothering him and let him be happy with other girls, like he deserves. We would both say how we didn’t expect to like each other and we did everything backwards. There’s nothing anyone can do about it now cos it’s dumb anyways. It’s kind of nice having boy problems instead of obsessing over my other problems now. Being home has made dealing with everything else a little easier.
last Halloween, me & reean got spme of the cutest tutus ever
This is the outfit I’ll be wearing while I clean my room instead of sleep tonight(:
I hate when you put tons of energy, time, and focus into something just to see that it’s not enough. You don’t get the results you expected or were promised.
we’re cuddling
guys, my bestfriend is the cutest thing I have ever laid eyes on. When she sleeps in my bed at home, she’s completely under the covers and all you see is that penguin’s head poking out at the top. It looks like I’m sleeping with a penguin the size of me.
Today…
1. Am I going to be (a) healthy or (b) “healthy”?
- If (a) healthy: What are the exact meals I am going to eat today and what is the exact workout I am going to do to burn off those calories?
- If (b) “healthy’: What are the excuses I’m going to use to get out of eating and how will I keep myself busy enough to keep my mind off it?
2. Am I going to be (a) happy or (b) …wait neither route will ever make me happy
tomorrow my sister is getting married and I’m finally in my bed and my best friend is with me. YES.
I’ve stopped caring about breaking rules & boundaries and the trouble I can get into for it.
Sometimes I feel absolutely miserable from the second I wake up. I’ve gone through this for years. The first thing I start thinking about is everything I worry about and what can go wrong. Somehow I always encourage other people to smile though and all I want to do is help them realize reasons not to be so sad. For some reason I can’t take my own medicine though.I just want to inject joy into my veins and hug everyone and shove flowers and love into their faces but I can’t. I’m surviving it the best way I can though. I’m doing my best. At least I’m making other people happy.
